Day 5 – Tied Knots
Day 5 of my 30-day writing challenge. Progressing well, but I am learning that you have to put in effort, many times go the extra mile. This is true especially when faced with a blank MS Word page and the cursor keeps shifting between YouTube and MS Word. That said, currently love listening to Cora Jakes Coleman pray, whew. Check her on her YouTube Channel.
Today’s post was inspired as I was unhanging clothes from the clothes line – yes, I am that person who seeks to learn from everything round about me-. After the clothes were folded, next came the shoes. Jayden’s shoes. Tiny shoes. Since I’d washed them of the red soil he had accumulated as a result of his hurricane running activity, the laces had come off. That is not a problem; they were tangled into small knots, the kind that lack beginning or end. When you are time-strapped, the last thing you want to do is figure out where the end of the tied knot is, an exasperating activity altogether. Needless to say, I still haven’t gotten the knots untied – he wearing loafers to church today :P-
Therein was a lesson for me. Postpartum Depression(PPD) made issues feel tangled up into one insurmountable mess. Some of the most prominent issues and triggers included anger at my son, sleep deprivation and bitterness. At the time, I felt like this was too much to handle. The problem is I was looking at the tied knots and wondering how to straighten the laces all at once, arguably an impossible task. This certainly contributed to the emotional burden of PPD, and the overwhelming nature of everything around.
Naturally, the thing to do is to take the visible end of the knot, and work backwards until you get the start point. Same analogy can be used during PPD healing. Find one issue and look out for occurrences where it manifests the most to get to the core of it all. For instance, sleep deprivation was a MAJOR trigger; I hated the light-headedness and haziness I associated with lack of enough sleep. So I took the time to analyze my sleeping patterns (this was the period after he’d turned 1 year old, or thereabout. I had allowed myself to earn the title ‘night owl’, so this realization perturbed me. I was sleeping late, 2:30AM, and had to be up at 7AM when little energizer battery woke up. Little wonder the day went by in a blur. This was a starting point for me. I made changes, slowly, looking at what would work for my son and I.
With anger issues, I realized it was as though PPD had set a default reply line for any flippant behavior. I knew there was / still is grace for this journey. Today, when faced with such situations aka toddler tantrums, I learnt to count to 10 before reacting. This would give me a brief window period to assess the situation and offer the best response.
A simple but clear lesson. When you are at your wits ends, staring at the phone, be reminded to untie the knots, each one of them one at a time.
Featured Image Photo Credits: Memoirs of a single Dad