#postpartumdepression: The conversation on Victoria’s Lounge

“I believe we need to get to a place where maternal mental health will not be stigmatized, and struggling moms can know that they are not alone, that help is available for them” In my darkest days when I struggled with postpartum depression, this is the one thing I really wanted to hear, the one thing I really needed to hear: that I was not alone, that I could get help, that I was not a bad mother for my inability to bond with my son. Sometimes I wonder, what if I had heard about #postpartumdepression before? What if, by […]

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I have to remind myself it is not a relapse.

The school holidays are almost here with us, and for most parents, this poses a challenge as far as parenting is concerned. As a Postpartum Depression (PPD) survivor and work-at-home mom, this presents a unique set of challenges. I have shared my story previously on how I struggled in the early days of motherhood here, how anger held me back from been able to bond with my son in this post as well as starting therapy and the lessons I have taken with me from that. Recently, I had a moment that scared me and brought to surface fears I […]

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This is why I kept my Postpartum Depression a secret

“Awwww, he is so chubby and adorable, look at him…” I often got this when my son was still an infant, never mind that he is now a grown champ who prefers bouncing off walls and seats to, well, sitting still for 5 microseconds, (comes with the age I guess. We are at five now). These words, while very well-meaning, were like an empty reverberating echo in my mind. ‘Couldn’t they see I was struggling with motherhood? Couldn’t they see the hollow posts I put in my coded Facebook updates? Perhaps if they looked closely, they could see the hollowness […]

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5 Years On

My son turned five in January this year. 5 good years. 5 solid years. To say I am excited about it is an understatement. I remember how, in 2011, when I realized I was pregnant, I could not envision how I would bring this child up. I struggled with seeing beyond a year a month, especially in the days that followed after a threatened miscarriage. When it dawned on me that I would be a single parent, I slowly reeled into what I now realize was antenatal depression. Antenatal depression, while perhaps not as widely known as Postpartum depression (PPD), […]

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This is why I am vocal about Postpartum Depression in Kenya

Hi. My name is Samoina, and I am a Postpartum Depression survivor. Have you heard about postpartum depression before? Postpartum Depression (abbreviated PPD) is one of several perinatal mood disorders that affects moms up to one year after birth. The precise cause of PPD remains unknown, but it is thought to be as a result of the sharp drop in hormonal levels. Ideally, during pregnancy, progesterone levels are at an all-time high. After birth, their levels plummet suddenly, leading to significant changes in the body. This is not to be confused with baby blues, a mild and short-lived condition that […]

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This is what it feels like to have Postpartum Depression

Postpartum Depression (PPD), like other mental conditions, is difficult to capture in words. Depression has been likened to a cloud hovering above one’s head 24/7, never lifting. It has been compared to a monster that is not afraid to grip the very life out of its victims until they are gasping for breath, then letting go albeit briefly (only to return a short while after). Depression of any kind, including PPD, feels like drowning, flapping hands in the air and screaming for help, but the sounds are muffled before been sucked up in a black hole. I have shared my […]

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Postpartum Depression: My Story

Growing up as a little girl, I envisioned the Cinderella wedding, complete with bows, pink and Prince Charming. Then the babies would follow, and it would be blissful, and we would grow old and live happily thereafter. Only, that this is not what unraveled. I remember vividly the moment I found out I was expecting. A flurry of emotions that are hard to capture in words flooded every fiber of my being. I was ecstatic at the thought of bringing a little human into this world. I was scared too of what seemed like (and actually turned out to be) […]

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