Changes

The only permanent thing in life is, change. The first time I read this statement, I found it ironical, because changes are transient, yet the element of things changing is one of life’s permanent fixtures. The thing about change is that it upsets our norm, it gets us out of our comfort zones and projects us into the unknown. This is scary, but my friend Carol always tells me scary is good. We are creatures of habit, who fall in love with routine and familiar places, familiar people and familiar territory. Anything that threatens to upset this balance is frowned […]

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My self-care toolbox

These past few weeks have been, hard. Not as hard as the days when I had postpartum depression, but they were a challenge, which I blogged about here and here. I have been processing the events of those days, admitting I am struggling with parenting, and just slowly getting out of that fog. This week, we have been good, and we have been coping. We have been squeezing in the laughter and letting go of the doubts (as to whether I am doing parenting right). We have danced, and we have delighted in these moments. We have colored and we […]

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I have to remind myself it is not a relapse.

The school holidays are almost here with us, and for most parents, this poses a challenge as far as parenting is concerned. As a Postpartum Depression (PPD) survivor and work-at-home mom, this presents a unique set of challenges. I have shared my story previously on how I struggled in the early days of motherhood here, how anger held me back from been able to bond with my son in this post as well as starting therapy and the lessons I have taken with me from that. Recently, I had a moment that scared me and brought to surface fears I […]

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Antenatal depression and what you need to know

I was talking to a friend recently, and they mentioned something that gave me the idea to pen this post. She asked, paraphrased, “Looking back, were you able to tell anything was amiss [when you were pregnant]?” My thoughts ran back to 2011. All of 2011, for the most part, was a blur – Pregnant, single and very confused. Looking back, now I see the red flags I missed. The constant tearing  (I remember walking downtown and just crying, not the pretty crying – I am talking bloodshot eyes, mucus and lots of tissue-), the sleepless nights I would lay […]

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This is what it feels like to have Postpartum Depression

Postpartum Depression (PPD), like other mental conditions, is difficult to capture in words. Depression has been likened to a cloud hovering above one’s head 24/7, never lifting. It has been compared to a monster that is not afraid to grip the very life out of its victims until they are gasping for breath, then letting go albeit briefly (only to return a short while after). Depression of any kind, including PPD, feels like drowning, flapping hands in the air and screaming for help, but the sounds are muffled before been sucked up in a black hole. I have shared my […]

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Onwards

Just one year ago I started this blog as a space to express myself, to share my experience and ultimately to help a mom who may be suffering from Postpartum Depression (PPD). In just one year, it has grown to be a great space, both for me and for the moms I get to interact with on here as well as on my social pages. I see growth on here, I see strides made forward, and while there is still so much groundwork to cover in terms of awareness, I am hopeful that we can change this narrative, one story, […]

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I remember.

I remember seeing the two lines and spending the rest of the day in a haze, alternating between contagious excitement and intense anxiety, I remember thinking twice, no thrice, actually multiple times about my abilities as a mom-to-be, I remember getting through the craves and aversions, and always having an excuse that ‘baby does not want this or that’, Then the fluttery kicks began and I fell in love with someone I was yet to meet, Read More: 10 Things I would Tell My Pregnant Self I remember drinking cold water and the kicks would set in earnestly, I remember […]

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