The Mom I Want To Be – Part I

We have had a couple of rough sleepless nights in this past week, thanks to an extremely high fever that saw mommy and son wake up at odd hours. At some point, I had to reduce the layers of cloths the champ had in order to keep the fever in check, plus of course, medication to reduce it – I always keep some medicine for the fever because it has a tendency to strike at the weirdest hours. We later attributed the fever to a stomach upset, from which the champ has since recovered. The erratic nights made me a […]

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Antenatal depression and what you need to know

I was talking to a friend recently, and they mentioned something that gave me the idea to pen this post. She asked, paraphrased, “Looking back, were you able to tell anything was amiss [when you were pregnant]?” My thoughts ran back to 2011. All of 2011, for the most part, was a blur – Pregnant, single and very confused. Looking back, now I see the red flags I missed. The constant tearing  (I remember walking downtown and just crying, not the pretty crying – I am talking bloodshot eyes, mucus and lots of tissue-), the sleepless nights I would lay […]

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5 Years On

My son turned five in January this year. 5 good years. 5 solid years. To say I am excited about it is an understatement. I remember how, in 2011, when I realized I was pregnant, I could not envision how I would bring this child up. I struggled with seeing beyond a year a month, especially in the days that followed after a threatened miscarriage. When it dawned on me that I would be a single parent, I slowly reeled into what I now realize was antenatal depression. Antenatal depression, while perhaps not as widely known as Postpartum depression (PPD), […]

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I remember.

I remember seeing the two lines and spending the rest of the day in a haze, alternating between contagious excitement and intense anxiety, I remember thinking twice, no thrice, actually multiple times about my abilities as a mom-to-be, I remember getting through the craves and aversions, and always having an excuse that ‘baby does not want this or that’, Then the fluttery kicks began and I fell in love with someone I was yet to meet, Read More: 10 Things I would Tell My Pregnant Self I remember drinking cold water and the kicks would set in earnestly, I remember […]

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Bath time nostalgia!

Image source Recently, I have been having all these fuzzy baby thoughts. (See my recent posts here). Perhaps it is because it seems like all my friends are welcoming their bundles of joy, or maybe the fact that only now, am I enjoying motherhood. See, I am a Postpartum Depression (PPD) survivor, which means this monster took away my most precious moments, leaving me dazed as the fog descended on me heavily. Even then, there were precious moments that I cherished and looked forward to: bath time. I remember how, on arrival from hospital, I admitted to mommy that I […]

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This is what I wish I knew while I was pregnant.

I have done a list on 10 things I would tell my pregnant self, which you can read here, but seemingly, so many of my friends are expecting their bundles of joy. So, I thought, another 10 or so (we will see) will not hurt. This post was birthed by the conversation I had with my pal whose daughter is just 2 months old. She was sharing on some of the shocking things that she experienced while she was expecting, and the least of which is talked about. In retrospect, I realized this was my case too! There were so […]

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Every June…

Every June, I have a silent anniversary of sorts. This June was no different. It doesn’t help much the fact that this blurry anniversary coincides with my birthday. * * * I have vivid memories of that day back in June 2011. In the months that had passed, I lived in a bubble of sorts; reality still hadn’t dawned on me. How’d I been drinking Famous Grouse & Malibu all along without knowing it. It never crossed my mind, at least not at 22. I had these lofty dreams, my career was on an upward trajectory, and there were all […]

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